Balloons

A friend of mine read my first post and noted that perhaps rather than worrying about statutory rape, I would be worried about necrophilia. Point taken.

My mother has insisted that I purchase a balloon bouquet for my sister's birthday dinner tonight. When I expressed to her that I have no money for such things (or anything), she acted as if I said nothing at all and just kept repeating different combinations of the words "balloon" and "bouquet". She has a knack for only hearing what she wants.

Did I mention my sister is turning 40? She doesn't want a damn balloon bouquet. She wants to drink a bottle of wine far away from our mother, is what she wants.

However, I could already hear the tone of panic in my mother's voice over the birthday dinner and I know now that if I don't show up with the balloons my mother will fall apart. Therefore, the balloons should say "Are you happy now, mother?" rather than "Happy Birthday!". Or perhaps they should say "Mission Accomplished. Please leave me alone now."

At least once dinner is over we will be able to get drunk in celebration. Far away from our mother.